A distant memory
Two things happened in the last couple of days that prompted me to write this one. First of all, I was chatting with my sister in India on my way to work and she was telling me about how she was preparing for the series of interviews for my younger niece's admission in to school. I kept thinking about it all day. And I was wondering why. That is so typical of life in India. Everything is so competitive. Its because demand way exceeds supply in almost everything. Life back in India seems so distant now. I seem to have forgotten those days of mine - where to get in to any graduate college or a big 4 firm, one had to go through various hurdles from a written test to group discussion/debate and series of interviews.
I immediately started thinking about Tanay and for the millionth time questioned our decision to live here. Living your formative years in India definitely has its benefits. You have to work very hard just to stay in the race. And that is ingrained in you very early on. Sure, quality of life may be better here but then do you value what you have?
I keep thinking if Tanay will be as competitive as his Indian counterparts? Or will he be able work as hard? This is not to say that people born and raised in America are not competitive or hardworking. A smaller percentage though when compared to the Indians and thats probably because of the population and resource disparity between the two countries. In this process, I have realized just how ambitious I am for him. Easily twice as ambitious as I am for myself.
The second incident that happened gave me a totally different perspective. We met up with some of our friends on the weekend and one of my friends who has a one year old wants his daughter to have good quality of life - thats all. Does not dream of her becoming an engineer or a doctor or someone doing great things.
I guess everything comes at a price and nothing is absolute. While living here may have some disadvantages, it definitely has has its advantages too. I definitely don't know what the future holds for us. As of now, I want Tanay to have the best of both countries. With the world shrinking, who knows - may be it wont matter anymore where he grows up. It will all be the same.
posted by Sumi Shrishrimal at
11:24 PM
5 Comments:
Hmm Sumi , a good introspection . Life is good at both the places for one . So dont worry,your decision is perfect . With parent like you and Dhawal Tanay will surely be a very Balanced and a happy child . Dont worry about the intelligence part, its in his genes .
Secondly i firmly beleive that a child should be given all the oppurtunities to develop in to a complete individual. Getting in to a school,studies , exams are just one part of that .But its the complete package which is important . And the most important factor in that package is Happiness and confidence which undoubtedly comes from the parents , family , geographical location dont matter .
A happy child would be a healthy child for sure.
I remember i had a very happy childhood , climbing trees , swimming in the lake, just being with friends , playing cricket in the sun etc etc . My parents could not provide for coaching clasess for everything , but i did manage to learn what i wanted to, but yes it took a lot of time and Jugaad .
Having said that its a must for every parent to provide for the best for his /her child without pushing the child too much . Its enitrely upon the child how much he /she can absorb it and make a good use of that .
Mushi has joined tennis and meyahsa has joined Skating . time flies so fast . It seems , just the other day she was learning to stand up on her own.
October 6, 2008 at 12:06 AM
Even in our times life was full of competition. But with time it is becoming more and more severe.
Sumi! As you rightly said that with all round rapid global development, the world is coming closure and you will find the competition coming in USA also.
For all round growth of a child, the parents can provide resources and best of the opporunities. Still, to some extent, the development of the child would depend on the atmosphere, surroundings, peer group and social values prevalent at the place where the child will spend his/her formative years. The child may become a genius or may fall in a bad company.Parents will have to take abundant care for this and spend time with the child to the extent possible.And then rest will perhaps depend on the child's destiny. This will hold good equally irrespective of the place you choose to stay- India or USA.
Sumi! As you rightly said there are advantages and disadvantages of staying in USA compare to India.That will depend upon each individual what he/she wants in the life at present and in the long run. A decision right at present may be reconsidered later, if required, and also if possible to change in the then prevelant conditions. More important is, one should learn to live life happily at present and also as it comes in future. Vimal
October 7, 2008 at 6:45 AM
Yes Sumi, definetly every place has its own advantages and disadvantages.
I too share similar worries like you, I keep thinking whether we are providing the right kind of environment for both Mushi and Meyasha and sometimes tend to push Mushi a little being the ambitious mother that I am, especially when I see the acute competition in her school.
Then again, I sometimes ponder (after the series of sermons from Mom) whether all this is really worth it! Whether I am taking away their childhood fun and frolic. After all what do we really want for our children in life. Yes I want them to be acheivers in any field they choose but at the end of the day I want them to be happy children who develop a healthy balance of mind and spirit and who can grow into adults with a high self esteem and a spiritual awareness that can give meaning and purpose to their lives.
So just enjoy Tanay's growing up years and I am sure he will grow up appreciating the fact that his parents were always there for him.
And wow! Sums your own blog! Thats simply great and you write very good. I need to take inspiration from you, you actually find time to also write your thoughts inspite of your being so busy at work and home!
October 7, 2008 at 12:03 PM
I agree with you - the earth is becoming 'flat' so to speak. You know we (S & I) have been debating on whether we should move back home since forever. The other concerns we have have are related to health care and safety. Pata nahi kya hoga!
October 9, 2008 at 12:01 PM
Wow!! I am so honored to receive all your comments. Thank you Jij, Papa, Shilps and Santho! Love you all.
October 10, 2008 at 12:13 AM
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